Today is 4 years that my best friend Rich left me. These past 4 years, I think how many times would we have discussed the new Star Wars movies? How many times would we have discussed Tolkien? Played Godzilla? Mrs. Pac-man? Discussed Stranger Things? The Toys that made us? Discussed the Marvel movies? Books? How many times would he have beaten me in chess? How much trash talk would we have given each other while playing cards? How many times would we have discussed useless shit on the phone for hours?
4 years, yet it feels like yesterday. God, I miss my buddy. My Smeagol, my Gollum, my Samwise, my 1000th man.
There are days where it’s too much that he’s gone, that I just want to cry to I dehydrate, that my eyes fall out. But I know this won’t bring him back. Still, it’s OK to cry. Like Gandalf said in The Return of the King, “I will not say ‘Do now weep’, for all tears are not evil”.
Do I wish Rich was still here? Dear God yes. But when I think of what he went through, I’m glad he’s with God. I just miss him.
I usually end these yearly notes with this Gandalf quote. I’ve been doing so for 4 years, I’ll be doing it every year.
“End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path…One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass…and then you see it. White shores…and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise”